Cursed

I am cursed. Some days I think it was sheer happenstance that the curse landed upon me. It is always on my mind; I cannot escape it. It is always there, lurking, waiting to tear me apart with its cruel, gaping jaws before going dormant again: but never gone, never gone.

At times when I feel at peace with the world, I think that the curse is no big deal, that I can live with it. Other days I want to curse it back, scream and black its eyes. Often I feel alone: just me and the curse.

I would never wish this curse on anyone else. But, of course, I am not its only victim. My own brother has recently been covered in the curse's shadow. And how did he react? He didn't. The curse is cunning: it creeps upon you slowly, not attacking you until it is too late. One day, though, my brother will know the true nature of the beast. When that time comes, he too will want to curse the curse, to scream and black its eyes. But, when he's done rebelling and is ready to cry, he won't be alone. He'll have me.

I am cursed. Now I think that it is not coincidence that I was cursed first. As my brother lives under the curse's shadow, I will be there to walk with him, give him a leg up, and carry him when he falls. When we are cursed together, it's not so much of a curse after all.

Plot: an Oratory

Hi. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a teenager. Ands I’m the kind of person that places a little too much on stereotypes and a little too much on what other people think and maybe not enough on my grades. But that’s not what this Oratory is about, that’s what everyone else’s about. Anyways, I, being an ignoramus teenager, got in a fight with my parents. Everyone else is doing it, you know. It’s such a reliable cliche’. I stormed into my room, I slammed the door, I dented my globe, and, in my rage, I broke my glasses. I went blind. After resolving with my parents, I had to get the spare pair, which I hated. I liked my old glasses, I liked how they were covered with stains, I liked how they fell off my face when I moved too fast or looked down. This spare pair over focused everything, it made things seem way too concave, and and it made me feel just uncomfortable.

The title of this speech is one word: Plot.

There are two ways we humans learn. The first is experience. Don’t touch the fire, it burns, don’t jump on unstable surfaces, and don’t be a jerk to your friends or you won’t have any. The major flaw with this line of reasoning is that if everybody learned by experience we’d all be dead. So the second way to learn is through other people’s experiences, or in other words, through storytelling. We one of the few races of animals that do this. Terry Pratchett puts it this way: “Humans need fantasy to be human, to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. You have to start learning to believe the little lies, so we can believe the big ones like Justice or Mercy, Duty, that sort of thing.” Through storytelling, we teach ourselves the code to life. We tell ourselves that there are heights to reach, there is a sky to look up to, and each of us has a potential. And in the end, if there’s one thing we can learn from ourselves, it’s Hope.

Act One:

“In the beginning, God made the heavens and the earth.”
Genesis 1:1

Every fictional universe has basic, axiomatic elements without which the story could not even begin to happen. For Harry Potter to defeat Voldemort, we have to assume Magic is possible. For Frodo to destroy the One Ring, we have to assume that the fire will destroy it. For Pokemon to work, we have to have faith that we really CAN catch them all. But we also have to give in to a semblance of destiny - whether we realize it or not. Harry Potter WILL defeat Voldemort, otherwise the universe just isn’t working right.

This is the theory of narrative causality. If you didn’t catch the title of my essay, it’s one word - Plot. Causality is why the plot moves the way it does. It’s why the events of the story are shaped the way they are. And yet.. in the words of Tom King, novelist, “The truth about stories is that’s all we are.” So how does Narratology work in our lives? The beautiful thing about life is that we live from moment to moment. There is always a place to go, a job to fulfill. The lesson we should take from Narrative Causality is that good always wins in the end. Like, certain Christians know that God will triumph over Satan in the last days, that the faithful saints are always, always guaranteed a place in heaven. People need happy endings or there just isn’t a point. And if there is no point, there is no existence. If there’s one thing you learn from reading fiction, it’s that everything resolves and good always wins in the end.

Act Two:

“Speak not in the ears of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom in thy words”
Proverbs 23:9

Characters. Characters are the window into the story, the anchor to the plot. As defined as the plot is in a book, it still always begins with “Now what would THIS kind of person do in THIS situation?”. Now, why do our heroes always seem to be an “ordinary high school student” or “small town hero”? You’ve probably heard this line before, but we need something we can relate to. In fact, to a writer the best part about a person in a book is their flaws. If someone in a book is starts the story being absolutely perfect, they are not the main character. They have to begin where you and I begin, so that we can see how to grow. Without a flaw, or a way to improve, there is no story. The exception is the Bible, and well, that’s the point, isn’t it? The idea is, We need a real person in our stories, or it isn’t real. But if everybody is flawed, what is the difference between the “good guys” and the “bad guys”? I think the answer is that a good person is someone who wants to get better.

Case study: Aesop’s Fables. Every single one of them involves a character with a flaw, a flaw to challenge, a flaw to overcome. The animals in the story are personifications of how humans think - the clever fox, the proud lion, the gullible chickens. And the reason Aesop is one of my favorite storytellers is that he not only entertains, but effectively and shamelessly enlightens us. The fables have become solid proof of the value of virtues like patience, or honor. And so, the hero is someone who always strives for his redemption. A hero is someone who realizes the best end to the means is the honest way. Because characters in stories may be fictional, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. They are us. This is the key to having a good attitude. Think about it. In fiction when we paint our selves, we see them succeed. All throughout history, people have gone from the lowest of the low to the highest of glory by the principle of resolve. Do the heroes in a story back down? No! Do they go through trials? Yes. And if there’s one thing that we learn from reading fiction, it’s that every one of us can achieve something.

Act Three:

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path”
Psalm 119:105

Throughout the speech, I’ve been giving biblical quotes. I don’t really care what religion you are. But the Bible is one of the most influential pieces of literature - arguably the most - in the history of mankind. The scriptures we treat as holy are in fact some of the most incredibly, undeniably human collection of stories I’ve ever seen. Beginning with the Old Testament, we have, much like Aesop, the stories of people who have very specific flaws to overcome.

So while the Old Testament is instructive in its morals, obedience can only get us so far. That’s why we have to New Testament, then - because it gives us the Perfect Example: and he is the Christ. If you find biblical things “just a fantasy”, then I hope you never forget just how powerful fantasy can be. Amazingly, the story of Christ isn’t about how he is so far beyond our reach but that he is within it, that there is bit of him inside everyone of us. In the pages of scripture we have the account of a man who stared down temptation, pain, and ultimately Death to come out victor. This is the story of a man who on the cross looked to the sky and said “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do”. Fictional or not, his perfect example inspired the the American Revolution, gave inspiration to men like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and continually gives light to those in darkness.

This is what saved my life. Because when I was angry, angry at my parents, angry at the world, and ultimately angry at myself, I wondered if life was worth it. I thought that if I died, maybe I’d be missed, but in the end I would just be another sad story, content to be an uncomfortable spot of gloom people remember but avoid thinking about. But...

“Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see!”

I found a Bible in my room. (checklist: angry at parents, angry at world, angry at me... oh, I DID forget to check off God.) I don’t care if it’s a fantasy. I don’t care if you think it’s a fantasy. I don’t care because this shows us just how powerful the stories in our lives can be. “Being Christlike”, as intangible as the subject may be, became a tangible goal. The point of this speech is not “read the bible” rather, take away from this “READ!”. Because ultimately, “Humans need fantasy to be human, to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.” And if there’s one thing that reading fiction can teach us, it’s Hope.

a flash too bright to see

So I decided to actually look up a Villanelle - a beautiful poem format, in my opinion - and I wrote one. It took a few minutes, I'll grant you that. I think it's about WWII, or at least, civilian bombings. Have that in your head as you read this. I probably should've posted this on the Workstation, it needs some help, but what the hey.

Falling, they speak to me
Black snowflakes flood in white
That flash, too bright to see

The only way they could be free
The only goal near in sight
Falling, they speak to me

A shriek, a metallic plea
Raiding towns in dead of night
That flash, too bright to see

Crouching on a single knee
They're worried about who is right
Falling, they speak to me

The Pilots missed a single tree
Until at last, another light-
That flash, too bright to see

It fell, to no longer be
A belief that once was trite
Falling, they speak to me
That flash, too bright to see.

BYU Writing Contest

Everyone in Writer's Club is good enough to do this, even though I don't guarantee winning. Deadline is Jan. 31... enjoy! http://english.byu.edu/contests

Blackened Eyes

Eugh, all my poems end up seeming so depressing.

Don't leave me behind, December
Don't end beyond my reach
Don't miss the wish you wanted
Or forget any lessons you teach

Tapping out silent rythms
On the other side of the state
The only way I know to find you
Is after I find it's to late

The bruises and blackened eyes
Reddened with fights we've won
And the signs the good is fading
Are missing when our time is done

And the death of the innocent artist
And the birth of a psychotic rant
And the life of a long lost lover
And the skeptics who said we can't

Don't leave me behind, remember
Don't fade in the curtain call
Don't hide behind hours and days
Before the time will come for us all

And the end of a created wonder
And the start of a God of the rose
And the spark on a trail of powder
And the fire at the end of the shows

Indian Chant Song

So, this was for History class, but I'm sort of proud of it, so I thought, since we've all died slow, painless, literary deaths, that I'd post this like some sort of pulse--like a sleeping bear during hibernation, whose heart only beats eight times a minute; its alive, but only just. We are a hibernating bear, at least ciber-speaking. This is to prove we are not dead. Yet.

Fire Demons

Like fire, came White Man
Like fire, came White Man
Like embers under White ashes
Came the White Man years ago

He came small and weak,
Like wind blow could him out
As we tried to blow him out
He only grew bigger

Now he is big,
And consumes everything
Like fire in the grass
Fire that does not spare

With Demon Fire
He burns even great stone.
Like angry thunder
He burns through mountains

He flies in Fire Demons
It screams and roars
On a trail of bones
That scars our lands

The Fire Demons bring him
In their bellies of smoke
Like the smoke in his pipe
That burns the sky

With Fire demons,
Come stranger White Men
From many different lands
They, too, were burned

But they do not flee the fire,
But become the fire
They burn as they were burned
And they will not be quenched

White Man spreads across the plains
Like fire in the wind
His spotted cows
Burn the ground they eat

The spotted cow,
As fiery as the Man
That chases them,
Consume the Buffalo grass

White Man must always eat to burn
So He kills every Buffalo,
Thunderous, he fires
And leaves to smolder

The Buffalo have fled
As they would great fire
And we now flee
As if from great fire

Now all is black
Charred and black
The White Man has nothing
More to burn

White Man is fire
We are the ashes
That are blown by wind
Away to new lands

The Hidden Pool

This took me two hours to type up, so you'd all better like it. This is a story written by my cousin. Just so you know, I'd probably rate it PG-13. But it's a brilliant read, so enjoy!

The Hidden Pool
By Connor Davidson

Jared bounded across the yellow sand, racing the seagulls to his family's site on the beach. He didn't mind the dozens of other parties that shared the bright California shore. The soft and constant drone of the tide lulled the beachgoers to sleep, but Jared was wide awake, filled with childish engery. He screeched to a sudden halt next to Chris. The tanning thirteen-year-old did not appreciate the sudden disruption of his nap as Jared's feet kicked a cloud of sand into his face.
"Jared! If you weren't my cousin, I'd whip you with my towel!" He spat the dirt out of his mouthand wiped it from his eyes. He glared at the beaming shild wasn't even ten yet. The charming, innocent smile disarmed him quickly.
"Hey, Chris! Oh... I'm sorry if I'm bothering you."
"No, no, it's fine," Chris lied.
"Where are Derek and Jerry?" Jared asked.
Chris squinted from the bright sun's reflection on the blue water. "They're out there swimming."
"Aren't you supposed to be watching them?"
"No, my mom is."
"Oh, well... you want to see what I found?"
Chris sighed. "Look, Jared, I just want to relax. Could you leave me alone for the rest of the day?"
Jared cocked his head, "Are you mad?"
"Not really, but I don't really care what seashells or animals you found. I want to enjoy the sun for a while."
"Well, the sun's just as nice over there..."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
The smile on Jared's face diminished. He flanced around at the other family members and sighed. It was no use... If Chris wasn't interested, the adults sure wouldn't be.
He left his cousin, who plugged his music headphones in and continued sunbathing. Walking towards the vast expanse of blue, Jared searched for his younger kin.
Derek and Jerry were busy splashing each other inder the watch of Aunt Clair. The giggled and shouted, heedless of the irritated ladies nearby who did not appreciate their splashing; growling and guiding their children away from them. The boys stopped when they heard Jared call them and waded to the shore. Derek of Jared's younger brother by almost two years, but not quite. Jerry was their cousin, yet due to his closer age to Derek, he considered himself his best friend.
Jared made the rest of the distance to them, kicking up water as he ran.
"Hey guys, I found something really cool," he said.
"What is it?" Derek asked.
"I'll show you."
"What about Aunt Clair?" Jerry asked.
"She won't mind... it's not far," Jared assured.
The others began to follow him when Aunt Clair hurried over. "hey, you boys," she called, "where are you going?"
Jared turned around. "I found something cool I want to show them. We'll be back."
"I don't want to going off alone. Where is this cool thing?"
"Just past the marina," Jared pointed to the nearby motorboats down the beach.
"Have Chris go with you," Aunt Clair demanded.
"Alright, alright..." Jared sighed. He turned the younger boys, "Come on, I'll show you."
They made as thought they were going towards Chris, but when Aunt Clair turned back, the trio scampered off towards the marina, as the had no desire to bother Chris again.
They ran past the boats, admiring some of the more expensive and lavish ones. "I'd like to be on the water in a boat like that," Jared pointed to a smooth, sleek, blue sppedboat that sat entirely alone. Someone must have spent a life's fortune for such a beautiful watercraft.
When Jared led them past the marine, they paused. There were mountains of great gray rocks, as if a massive truck had dropped a load of over sized gravel next to the coast.
"Well," Derek started, "where is it?"
"Follow me, "Jared responded.
They climbed the rocks slowly, being careful not to slip. Jerry scatter the brood of gulls on one of the larger stones. Soon they reached the top of the highest mound and looked down.
There below was a small little bay, almost completely surrounded by the walls of stone. There was a small little mouth that allowed the water to enter in. The bay was about the size of an average swimming pool and about as deep. The water was calm and clear, undisturbed by the shifting tide of the outer ocean.
"Wow!" Derek exclaimed. "It's a perfect little private pool!"
"I know, it's incredible," Jared said. "Think of the awesome games we could play, away from peepers."
"What about this?" Jerry pointed to a sign that read WARNING. It was a caution sign declaring the pool was off limits.
"So what?" Jared asked. "It's not like there's anyone around to enforce it."
"I don't see anything wrong down there," Derek agreed.
"Well, neither do I... But what if there are sharks?"
"Do you see any sharks? Or warnings about sharks on the sign?"
"No, but..."
"Are you afraid?" asked Derek.
"No!"
Jared patted Jerry's shoulder. "There's nothing wrong down there, and there's nobody around. Let's go have some fun down there, without anyone bothering us."
"But what would our parents say?"
"They don't have to find out," Derek proposed.
"What if we get hurt?"
"Jerry, nobody's going to get hurt," Jared assured. "We'll be careful. Come on, let's play something."
"We'll play whatever you want to," Derek added.
"Okay then..." Jerry thought for a moment. "We'll play shark attack."
With a cheer of agreement, the boys rushed down into the pool. It was just like a swimming pool: it started with a shallow end and progressively got deeper towards the mouth of the ocean. The water was not stagnant; instead it was cool and crisp, as if it had been used many times before.
For nearly an hour, they hollered and laughed as they swan from one side of the pool to the other, then back. Jared played the part of the "shark" and the other two boys tried to swim as fast as they could across the bay without getting their feet grabbed. Derek and Jerry giggled and jeered, taunting Jared to swim faster to catch them, and he gleefully complied. None of the boys thought anybody was near, nor did they notice the shape entering the eddy below the surface.
As the boys continued their game, they came closer to the mouth of the pool and the mysterious creature below. It was not until Derek cried out that he felt something brush against his leg that they became observant of their surroundings.
"What was it? A fish?" Jared asked.
Derek shook his head. "It felt bigger."
Jerry was suddenly anxious. "Maybe we should leave now," he mumbled. "What is it's a shark?"
Jared thought for a moment. "Wait," he began, "if it was dangerous, wouldn't it have attacked already?"
"Then what do you think it is?"
The older boy didn't answer. He saw a flash of movement in the water out of the corner of his eye. When he turned to examine if, there was mothing. Jared's eyes scanned the water. He too was nervous, though he worked hard on concealing it. There was a tiny sound of a ripple behind him. He twisted around swiftly; yet again he found absolutely nothing. Derek and Jared were starting to whimper softly.
"Hey guys, I don't think there's anything here. Let's not worry about it. how about..."
A mighty splash exploded behind him and the two other boys cried out in alarm. Jared felt like someone dumped a bucket of water on him. He twirled about, hoping to ward of an ambush. What he saw gave him a greater start.
It was a girl, about all of their same age. She was fair skinned with long, shimmering, soft blond hair.
Jared thought his eyes were tricking him as he pulled his soaked black hair from his eyes. But when he shook his head and rubbed his eyes, the bright and cheery face of the strange girl was still before him.
"Ummm...Jared stuttered, "Hello?"
"Hi there," she grinned, sincere and friendly.
"What are you doing here?" Derek asked. "This place is supposed to be banned>"
"Well, you're here," the girl countered. "I don't stick well to the rules of adults."
"Apparently, neither do we," Jerry said.
The girl giggled. "Who are you guys?"
Jared relaxed, the stranger was obviously being friendly. "I'l Jared Andersen. This is my brother Derek, and my cousin Jerry."
"Well, hi, Jared, and Derek, and Jerry. My name's Selene." She laid herself back, reclining in the water. Then her tail bagen to break through the surface... Tail?
"Oh my!" Derek cried out.
"You're... a mermaid?" Jared asked.
"Well of course I am," Selene responded. "What did you expect? A human girl?"
"Uhh..." the boys all gaped and blubbered.
The mermaid raised her tail higher, letting the boys better see her sparkling green scales, like emeralds. From the waist up, she the same as any normal girl, wearing a bright blue bikini also made of fish scales. There where legs should be, t was a long, smooth tail with white fins. The trio remained motionless, enchanted by each glitter of skin. It was nothing they had ever seen before, except in those movies, of course.
"Well, if you're done looking at me," the mermaid said, "do you think you have room for another playmate?"
The boys nodded slowly, still regaining their senses. Eventually they found their voices and their playfulness, amending their game to fit their new member. The the rest of the day they played and laughed and splashed, far from the eyes of anyone.

What at last they saw the sun sinking into the sea, the boys realized they were long overdue to let their family know where they were.
"Oh dear," Jerry moaned, "We're going to be in big trouble."
"I doubt anyone will miss us," Derek said.
"Chris sure won't," Jared added.
"All the same," said Jerry, "I think we need to get back."
"Do you really have to go?"
Jared sighed. "Yeah, we have to go."
All of them moaned and disappointment filled their eyes. They looked mournfuly at each other for several moments.
"Will you be back soon?" Selene inquired.
"I don't know," Derek answered. "Chris lives here at the coast, but we all live inland, in Colorado."
"Oh," the girl sighed. "So I won't be seeing you again?"
"Yes you will," Jared responded. "We'll come back, I'm sure of it.We can't forget such a fun day, or our new friend."
"No way," Jerry concurred. "We'll be back, maybe next summer."
"I guess I'll wait 'till then," Selene smiled hopefully.
The boys said their goodbyes, exited the water and hiked their way up the rocks. Selene waved to them, and then disappeared beneath the water and out the mouth of the bay. The sun fell below the horizon and set, not only on the world, but on the innocence of the happy children.

Seven years later...
Jared slammed the front door after himself. The crash echoed throughout the house. The silverware and chine on display rattled precariously on their hooks. Silence followed or a moment until Jared stomped his way up the stairs to his room.
"Something wrong?" Aunt Clair asked. Jared's response was a slam of his bedroom door.
Derek looked up from the computer. Jared had often come home late from school in a foul mood, but the intensity of the slamming doors meant that today was profoundly worse. He paused his game and walked up the stairs, then knocked on the door tentatively.
"What do you want?" Jared barked through the door.
"It's me," Derek answered. "You want to talk?"
"If my door is locked, does it look like I want to talk?"
"Come on Jared, we could always talk."
"But usually it was always me comforting you with your problems."
"Well, maybe it could be my turn for a while." Derek waited for a few minutes, and then the click of a door being unlocked followed. Jared opened the door softly. His face was red with tears and dried blood.
"Jared!" Derek exclaimed. "What happened?"
"I failed my test."
"Why are you bleeding?"
"That's something I'd rather not discuss. Come on in..."
Derek stepped into the room. To his surprise, it was a huge mess. Jared had always been so tidy. TO see his clothes and papers all over in such a manner was most distressing.
"So, what happened?" Derek looked again at his older brother ragged face.
Jared sighed, "I stayed after school to take the test again."
"The one for college?"
"Yeah, that one. I know I could do it, I'm smart enough. I know all the concepts... But for some reason I just struggled. I'm pretty sure I failed."
"Oh, come one, Jared, I know you did fine."
"not good enough. Not as good as I know I can be. I want to be able to go to a good school, away from..."
"Away from all of us?" Derek looked concerned.
"Just away from Aunt Clair. It's not like I wanted to live with her since..."
"Stop it! You always told me to be grateful for her since they died. Now I'm telling you. If it weren't for her charity, where would we be?"
"I won't have my fifteen-year-old brother spit my own words back at me! Yes, Clair was certainly kind enough, but its not like we were made welcome. Especially with Chris..."
"Yeah, well, nobody knows where he is now, so don't worry about him any more. So that all explains the issue with the test... What about your... face?"
"I told you I don't want to talk about it."
"Come on Jared, I always told you my problems..."
"Hah! I highly doubt that. But, if it will make you stop lecturing, I'll tell. I got in a fight with Jeremy Robins."
"Jared! That buy's huge! Why would you do that?"
"You think I started it? I simply asked Anna a question; I didn't know she was his current girlfriend."
"His car is his girlfriend. His girl is his ride."
Jared almost smiled, but didn't. "Whatever. I know all about him."
"Well, did the school do anything?"
"It was off school grounds and long past time school ended. Nobody could have done anything if they were even around."
"So, what? You just come home after... that?"
"If you could call this home," Jared snorted.
"Jared..."
"No! Stop it! I'm sick of this, I'm sick of everything! Just get out and leave me alone!"
Derek obeyed. He walked out and closed the door quietly behind him. Clair was coming up the stairs. "What's wrong with Jared?" she asked.
"He's had a really bad day. I guess he'll talk more after he's cooled down."
Clair bought his lie. "Alright then, but make sure he knows when dinner is ready." As she walked away, Derek grumbled, "I wonder if he will even eat today."
Derek went downstairs shut down the computer and went into his room. Small tears began to wet his eyes. Jared was having it bad. He had taken the entire burden on himself when... It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. Only a day before they were having fun on the beach--he couldn't remember what they were doing--with no troubles at all. Afterwards, their entire world was shattered.

Jared sat silently, soaking in the loneliness of his room. His neatness had diminished, everything was a mess, but he didn't care. Other kids had rooms like this and they seemed to function just fine.
He stared silently at the blankness of the room, now seeming to be full of absolutely nothing worthwhile. His eyes turned outwards to the window. Out beyond Los Angeles and its lesser cities, the massive blue blanket stretched out into infinity, Having lived in Colorado for the first half of his life, the ocean remained a strange and foreign thing to him. It was absolutely huge, beyond anything he had ever seen before. He was amazed all the these people who lived next to it all the time took it for granted.
A car rolling into Clair's house caught his eye. It was shabby, an old taxi with a desperate need for new pain. it noisily came to a stop and the back door opened wide. out stumbled a tall man with greasy hair and dirty clothes. Jared scowled. Who was this?
He paid the driver a couple of bills and swaggered toward the house as the car drove off. When Jared saw is face, his scowl turned into a deathly glare. After more than a year of disappearing into nowhere, his cousin Chris was back.

Without knocking, Chris sloppily strode in shouting to the whole household, "Lucy, I'm home!"
Derek and Jared scoffed. What a terrible cliche. Apparently Chris had not gained a sense of originality while he was away.he also seemed to have forgotten the concept of showering or washing. Chris looked like one of those bums from downtown L.A., which he probably was. He sure smelled like one of them, and his attitude was certainly worse.
"Ah! I see my little cousins are still here... Haven't gotten around to applying for a job yet?"
"It doesn't look like you're doing too well yourself," Jared growled.
Chris smiled like the drunken fool he obviously was. "Yeah, well, at least I have been out in the real world."
"You know we're still in school, right?" Derek asked spitefully.
"Oh, right. Still in the high school phase, of course."
Aunt Clair came down the stairs, both irritate and ecstatic. "Chris, my boy, where in the world have you been?"
"Oh, Mom, I've been in town this whole time. Got myself some work and an apartment."
"So now you've decided to visit your dear old mother?"
"Well, sort of... I've kind of hit a rough patch in my life, and, well, I kind of need a place to stay."
"Oh," Clair paused, "I see... Well, you can have your old room again. There are a few things stored in there... But you can move them."
"Thanks, Mom," the twenty-year-old smiled.
The bum went into his room, having absolutely no luggage of his own. Derek and Jared walked slowly upstairs.
"Well, this day just keeps getting better," Jared whispered.
"He doesn't look very good."
"Hus looks aren't the worst thing about him," Jared corrected, He shivered in disgust. "I suddenly feel like going to bed."
"What about your homework?"
"Don't have any... Never really do."
"Well, isn't that something to be grateful for?"
"Shut up."
Derek was silent until they parted and entered their separate rooms. The sun was just setting, but for the both of them, the day was long past time to end.

Jared and Derek came home together from school, forsaking any social interaction. They walked through the door to find an unfamiliar, yet much expected sight. Chris lay strewn about on the den's couch, snoring away. Empty cans of beer and soda littered the floor, accompanied by dumped out bags of junk food.
"Huh," Jared flared. "Looks like Chris hasn't changed at all."
"Come one, Jared, ignore him."
"If he continues like this, nobody will have any food in this house, or any place relax."
"Jared," Derek began to change the subject. "Ca I ask your opinion about something?"
The elder brother's attention shifted to his sibling. "What? Let's go up to your room and talk."
When they had closed the door, Derek sat on his bed and Jared leaned against the closet.
"Well, what is it?"
Derek hesitated, wondering how he should word his thoughts. He decided to come straight out with it. "I want to go out for football."
Jared said nothing for a while, not sure he heard him clearly. "What was that?"
"I'm big enough, and I always like playing it with my friends in the park. I want to try high school football. What do you think?"
His brother shook his head in disbelief. "What do I think? Do you have any idea what you would be doing? Do you know what those jocks are like? they will tear you apart."
"Derek frowned. "I'm a big guy, I could take them."
"Do you have any idea what you'd be doing?" Jared repeated.
"Yeah, well, sort of... But that's just it,I want to learn. I think it would be a lot of fun."
"I doubt it. People like Jeremy have been playing in those leagues since they were three. You can't expect to suddenly just join the club without any background."
"I don't think it would be like that..."
"No? I'm a senior, Derek; I've been at the school a lot onger than you. I know how it all works there. I know how the other students are. You don't ahve a chance."
"But..."
"Do everyone a favor and save us all a bunch of grief. Don't do it, Derek. Don't leave yourself so open and vulnerable. Your life will be a lot easier for it."
"But I might regret how much fun it would be."
"Fun? Are you so naive?"
Derek's frown had grown a lot larger than Jared's. "I asked for your thoughts, Jared, and I guess I've got them now. You don't ahve to like it, but I'd really appreciate it if you could be supportive."
"Whatever," Jared shrugged carelessly.
"Mom and Dad would support my attempt."
"And guess what? They're gone."
"Jerry would, too."
"He's gone, too. You know that."
Derek rose. "I know you're upset, but don't you dare talk about them so thoughtlessly."
"Me? You're the one who brought them up. Don't you think I miss them, too? Don't you think I'm a wreck after it all?"
Derek's poise grew strong and erest in defiance and command. "We have nothing more to discuss. Now you leave!"
"Fine by me," Jared shrugged after he had turned and opened the door. When he was gone into his own room, Derek threw his head into his pillow and bawled.

The next week passed in misery and unhappiness, at least for the two brothers. Chris spent it all by eating, sleeping, and watching television each day, all day.
At the dinner table, Clair, Chris, and Jared sat silently. Derek should have arrived nearly half an hour ago. Chris sat in his usual haughty slouch. Clair sat oblivious to everything except the gradual loss of heat from the food she had prepared. Jared sat with a greatest silence of all, his face revealed nothing of how he felt. He was torn between annoyance at his brother's tardiness, yet concerned that something was very wrong.
At length, the door creaked open and Derek trudged in, looking as he did seven years: utterly beaten by sadness and pain.
"Well?" Aunt Clair asked. "How did the football thing go?"
"Wait, what?" Chris blurted stupidly. "Derek was trying out for football?What a laugh! But at least he was doing something."
Derek said nothing, but his eyes told enough.
"It went badly, didn't it?" Jared inferred. Derek looked at him with the most pitiful expression on his face.
"The coach was a jerk, and absolute douche." Derek never before had spoken so grim or rudely about somebody, and it shocked his brother. "Not only that, they using terms I had no knowledge of because I haven't really experienced such legitimate sports. The kids weren't better than the coaches either..." he trailed off.
Jared sat up straight. "It's exactly as I knew it would be. I told you before. You didn't listen."
"Shut up!" Derek shouted. "Don't act so glad for my problems. You didn't behave like this before, and I've never done so to you. I could have used a little support from any of you... But no, none of you even acknowledged that I was trying."
"What are you saying?" Aunt Clair asked. "I'm the person who would have been paying for it."
"So? You've been supporting this worthless bum for the past week," Jared interjected. "He's been costing you more than either of us."
"What's that you said, dirt bag?" Chris rose in indignation. "You're both just worthless children without any place in the world."
"Chris..." Aunt Clair started.
"No! They're going to listen. We didn't want you brats, but your worthless parents had to go and get themselves killed. So now we're stuck with you, and fine job of being grateful you've done. It's a good thing that other whelp died, too, or else we'd have another mouth to feed!"
Jared stood up, fork clenched tightly in his fist. His cousin's drunkenness wouldn't excuse him if he continued like this. He told him so.
"You bastard! It seems you forget who 'that other whelp' was!"
"What do you care?" Chris rose up himself. "He wasn't your brother!"
Jared snarled, "You shame that term! he was too good for you after all!"
All three adults yelled at each other until Aunt Clair broke into tears. At that point, everyone left to their rooms, disregarding the untouched dinner.Almost simultaneously, three doors slammed shut for the night.

Clair was still heavy with tears as she prepared herself for bed. Perhaps sleep was all everyone needed. A good night's rest would improve everyone's attitudes. Int he morning all would be right again. Jared and Derek would continue succeeding in school; Chris would continue his job search which he was hard at work at. Everything would be as it should be.
During the night however, she had trouble sleeping. She checked her clock. It was nearly three thirty in the morning. All of California should be asleep, figuratively speaking, of course.Still, something was wrong. She turned on her lamp. The old picture of her husband was illuminated. Clair smiled sadly for a moment, and then noticed the drawer beneath the lamp was disturbed. She opened it and covered her mouth with her hand. Her deceased husband's gun was missing.

The night was quiet for Jared, simply because he chose not to hear the other, irrelevant noises of the city. He stood alone, only watching the quiet tides slowly rise and fall.
Jared wasn't exactly sure where he was, but he felt for some reason he knew this place. It was like a small swimming pool, connected faintly with the rest of the global water, and completely hidden by the massive, dark rocks that piled carelessly atop one another.
The faintest light was rising over the horizon. Dawn was fast approaching. Jared had not interest in seeing another sunrise for one more day in this world. He had had it. For seven years he had endured each day, doing what he was "obligated" to do. Now he was done. He glanced thoughtfully down at the gun in his hands. It looked like such a simple instrument. And despite its various inner workings, its function and purpose was uncomplicated. It would make the pain stop. It would end his loathing and sorrow that awoke with him every morning and followed him to bed every night.
It's not like he deserved to keep breathing. Half his family was already dead, why maintain the rest? He wasn't even nice to his surviving family.
What a horrible person he had turned out to be! T top the failures and lack of sociality, he was the foulest to the one person who still cared for him, his brother. It was long past apologies. He had endured too long the ignorance of his oblivious aunt, the abuse of his wretched cousin, and his own guilt for his treatment of his brother. Now he had chance to do all of them a favor.
Jared raised the pistol to his head. He pushed the muzzle up to the temple and began to squeeze the trigger...
A tiny splash made him pause. It was probably nothing, but it did startle him. He brought down the gun and looked around for the source of the disturbance.in the dark, he saw nothing. The water was deep navy blue, there was not light that allowed him to see through it. If there was something there, he could not find it.
Jared assumed it was nothing to worry about and started again to bring the gun up. However, this time he was stopped abruptly when something pulled out his legs from under him. He fell wit a cry onto the slippery rock, and then roller into the night-chilled water. the cold came as a massive shock, but not as much as the feel of something long and smooth run by his legs.he cried out and sat up in the water that came up to his chest. He did not stand, for he had no desire to fall again. A girl popped out of the water in front of him. Something felt strange about seeing her.
"I knew you'd be back eventually!" she smiled.
"Huh?" Jared felt he must have really hit his head hard, for he noticed a long, green tail following her body. A mermaid? What the...?!
"She was about his age, and older teenager, and she looked a whole lot prettier than any of the girls at school.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" the girl splashed his face. "You haven't forgotten me, have you?"
"I think I would remember meeting a mermaid before."
"Oh dear, it seems I may have hit you too hard... Your fall must have disrupted your memory."
"Look, Miss, I don't know you..."
"Sure you do!" Child-like arrogance puffed her cheeks. "I'm Selene, Jared. We played together almost seven years ago. You said you would have been back the following year. I've waiting so long for you guys to come back."
"Guys?"
"Sure. You, Derek, and Jerry..." She stopped when she saw his sorry face. "What's wrong? Where are the others?"
Thoughts began to piece together like a magic puzzle. Soon things became very clear and a tidal wave of realization and remembrance struck him.
"Selene! Now I remember you..."
"There we go!"
The shroud pf repressed childhood memories was finally lifted. With it, sudden and burning tears scalded Jared's eyes.
"What's wrong?" The mermaid came closer.
"Now I remember it all... The best day I ever had, followed by my worst..."
"Oh," Selene gasped softly and came very near him. "You can tell me what happened."
"I don't want to..." Jared sobbed, "I don't want to remember it..." He stopped when his old play-friend hugged him sympathetically. Her show of kindness loosened his tongue.
"We went home the day after we met you. We were excited for the next year to see you again. We didn't realize we never would. A drive on the freeway was yelling at his kids to stop pestering each other, or something like that. He slammed into our rear and pushed us over off an overpass. When I became conscious, I was being pulled from the wreck by paramedics. Hours later, in the hospital, they came and told me my mother, father, and our younger cousin, Jerry, had all died in the crash.
Selene said nothing. She simply embraced him again for comfort. Her body warmed the very deepest part of his soul.
"Derek and I were taken in by our Aunt Clair because she was the first to claim us. Her son, my cousin Chris, wasn't happy about it at all. He grew progressively vile the longer we stayed. He moved out a year ago, but now he's back to mooch off his mother."
"Where's Derek now?"
Tears welled in Jared's eyes. "I'm so ashamed of myself. As my life grew progressively worse, I also became abusive of my little brother. I didn't support him and I didn't listen to him... He was right about everything but I was too embittered by my life to understand."
"If you forgot all about me, why are you here now?"
"I remembered something about this place, but I didn't know what it was...I intended to..." Jared remembered the gun. He searched for it, but in wain. It was lost to the cool water, never to be found again.
"You were going to kill yourself?!" The mermaid's face was horrified at the idea.
"Yes," Jared answered shamefully. "I thought I would be doing right for everyone. I would be better... My pitiful like has lingered far past its time."
"How can you believe that? I think you're important..."
"No offense Selene, but we played together for one day. We don't know anything about each others' lives. I don't know why I've even been telling you all this."
"You're telling me because you need someone to talk to and to have understand. Nobody else would be that person, or so you led yourself to believe."
"Are you trying to make me feel better? It's not working. I realize that I've done to my brother. All e ever did was try to comfort me and try something that sounded fun to him. How did I treat him for it? I was worse than Chris ever was...because I was his older brother. He looked to me for his whole life, more so after our parents died...and Jerry..."
"Shh..." she put a finger to his lips to emphasize. She leaned her face in close to his and kissed him gently. "Things were beyond your control. Let me help you find life again, instead of ending it."
"I should be getting back," Jared spoke untruthfully, as he started to peek over the eastern horizon, like a nosy neighbor over a fence. The cold water became warm and pleasant, yet Jared continued to shiver, as if snow was falling in California. The sounds began to rise in the city while the lights went down, but neither of them noticed. They just stared at each other, learning everything they needed to know about the other through their eyes.
As the sun finally passed over the horizon and brightened the whole city, Selene wrapped her long emerald tail around Jared's shivering legs. Despite what is often said and believed about fish scales, he found her aquatic body much warmer and more enchanting than any human legs could ever be.

Derek looked up from the staring at the table when an abrupt pounding resonated at the front door. He walked quietly and cautiously to the door. On the mat stood a large police officer an a man he vaguely remembered seeing in an old picture. He was kind face, not very big, and nicely dressed.
He smiled. "You're Derek Andersen, aren't you?"
"Yeah... who's asking?"
"My name is Jacob Andersen. You can call me Uncle Jake."
Now Derek recognized him. This was his dad's younger brother, the Mormon that lived in Utah, whom they had rarely seen.
"Oh, hi..." Derek said. "Can I help you?" He regarded the officer with a suspicious glance.
"We're here to help you, son," the officer said.
"Yo! Football failure! Who's at the door?" Chris called from in the house. He strutted over to the door to see for himself. When he saw the police officer, Derek could have sworn his cousin soiled himself.
"Are you Christopher Moore?" the officer asked, knowing the answer already.
"Who's asking?" Chris squeaked.
Without another word, the officer burst in and placed a pair of handcuffs on Chris' wrists.
"What about my rights?" Chris whined.
As the officer proceeded with the usual arrest speak, Clair walked in. "What's going on here?" she asked.
The officer turned to her. "Don't worry, Miss Moore. For sheltering this drug-dealing murderer, you can come, too."
"Uhh... What's this all about?" Derek asked, dumbfounded by the sudden turn of events. Uncle Jake looked kindly at him.
"I've finally won the legal battles I promised my brother I'd fight. After much disputing with lawyers, I've finally gained custody of you and your brother."
"What?!" Clair shrieked. "First you arrest my son, now you're taking them? How? I am their legal guardian."
"Not any more," Jake unfolded a court statement. "The boys are to come with me now. This is no home for my brother's kids."
Chris snickered, gathering enough defiance to speak. "Well, you'll just be taking the one, bud. I saw Jared scuttle out last night with a gun in his hand." The officer tightened his grip on him ,forcing him to gasp.
Derek gaped. Then rage filled in him and he leaped across the foyer and assailed his wretched cousin. Uncle Jake and the police officer tried to pull him off, while Chris begged and wailed for him to stop. Derek stopped, not because he had recomposed himself, but because he then rushed up the stairs to Jared's room.
The officer held on to the crumpled and beaten Chris and took both him and Aunt Clair out to his car. Uncle Jake followed his distraught nephew upstairs.
When he opened the door to find his brother's room empty, Derek fell to his knees and wept. It was true, his brother was gone. Who knows where he could have gone to kill himself? It was too late now. As he cried, Uncle Jake knelt next to him and placed his arm across his shoulders. Despite hardly knowing him, Derek buried his face in his uncle's shirt and clung on to him tightly.
How could it end like this? Derek and Jared and been there for each other all this time. Now the one person Derek look up to was gone. He had tried to comfort his older brother before... He didn't realize Jared was so terribly depressed. If only they could have been more open to each other, more supportive. But it was too late now. Now they would never see each other again. Now Derek had only one relative left, a Mormon whom he had never known. Uncle Jake cried with his nephew empathetically, sharing the pain of having lost a dear brother.

Jared Andersen lay on a large, warm rock, the last of the mounds. Beyond lay the ever expansive ocean and his new life. Next to him, soaking in the golden warmth of the morning was the gorgeous Selene. She smiled as she lay still, swishing her tail lightly.
Jared looked at his bare body, still feeling a lingering sense of embarrassment at his nakedness. His drenched clothes sat abandoned on another rock, seemingly an eternity away.
"How much longer are we just going to sit like this?" he asked.
"Bored already?" Selene responded without opening her eyes.
"No... I little nervous, I suppose..."
Selene opened her glimmering eyes and rolled herself on top of Jared's Chest. She looked amusingly into his eyes and kissed him long and passionately.
Jared had never felt so overjoyed in his entire life. Last night he had reached his precipice, the last moment he could endure his depression. He had stood ready to throw his whole life away in a last ditch effort to end his pain. Now he was lying with the absolutely most beautiful person in the entire world, on land or sea. Now he had a chance to start anew.
His thoughts turned to his poor brother that he feared he was abandoning to the unkind world. Somehow, Selene sensed his concern.
"Your brother's going to live a long and happy life, Jared. You should be happy. He won't forget you any more than you'll forget him. Despite everything, you two stood by each other through your troubles. Now you both get to start again. Look!"
The human named Fared Andersen kissed his new love once more. Then he turned and was astonished. His two pale legs began to disappear. In their place, long and beauteous, was a brilliant azure tail.